Dessert Stomach

DESSERT STOMACH : PISTACHIO COOKIE BARS

Did you know that you have two stomachs? A regular stomach and a dessert stomach. The dessert stomach exists so that when your regular stomach is full, you can still enjoy dessert. These are facts and I won’t be told otherwise.

If you need a St. Patty’s Day treat idea (or, like me, just need an excuse to make a dessert), I’ve got your back. Pistachio Cookie Bars are every bit delicious as they sound, incredibly easy to make, and they’re green cause of the chemicals they put into pudding mix. Let’s call a spade a spade guys, dessert is generally not healthy and if it is, I want nothing to do with it – whatever the opposite of organic is, this is it. BUT WHO CARES. We all have our vices, dessert is mine. I drink so much water throughout the day, surely it waters down the overly-processed parts of the food I occasionally consume. That’s how it works, right? RIGHT??

Welp. That’s enough sarcasm for one post, here’s the recipe :

Cookie Bars

  • 2 C Flour
  • 2 x 3.4OZ Boxes of Instant Pudding Pistachio Mix
  • 1/2 C Sugar
  • 1 TSP Baking Powder
  • 1 Egg
  • 1/2 C Melted Butter
  • 1/4 C Vegetable Oil
  • 1/2 C Milk
  • 1 TSP Vanilla Extract
  • 1/2 C Chopped Pistachios

Cream Cheese Frosting

  • 4 OZ Softened Cream Cheese
  • 3 TBSP Softened Butter
  • 2 TSP Vanilla Extract
  • 3 C Powdered Sugar

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, lightly grease a 9×13 baking pan, set aside.
  • In a large bowl, mix together the dry ingredients: flour, pudding mix, sugar, and baking powder.
  • In a separate bowl, combine the egg, melted butter, oil, milk, and vanilla extract.
  • Add the wet ingredients to the flour mixture until just blended. I did this incrementally (about 1/4 at a time) with a regular old fork.
  • Mix in the chopped pistachios (save some for the topping, yo!).
  • Press the dough into the greased baking pan. You’re gonna have to use your hands, peeps. Only way to get the job done.
  • Bake x 18-22 minutes (or until lightly browned). Mine went for 19 and were perfect. Once done, cool completely on a wire rack IN THE PAN. Don’t even try to take them out of the pan. Mmkay?
  • While the cookie bars bake, in a large mixing bowl, add the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla extract. I used my stand mixer (paddle attachment) for this because I was also simultaneously cooking dinner and was running out of counter space but you do you.
  • Gradually add the powdered sugar until fully combined.
  • THEN FROST YOURSELVES (10 points for anyone who gets the movie reference). Don’t actually frost yourself, frost the cookie bars.
  • Top with chopped pistachios. Full disclosure: I did not chop pistachios.. I threw those suckers into our Nutribullet and created a sort of pistachio dust. Whatever works.

If you make this recipe, I WANT A SAMPLE. I mean picture. So comment, DM, or email me and let me know how yours turned out! Dessert junkies unite!

Recipe Adapted From Sarah @ The Gold Lining Girl

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